


We All Need A Helping Hand Sometimes

by nyxqueenofshadows



Category: Gintama
Genre: Blood, Cuddling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Hijikata, M/M, More References To Sex, Nightmare, Oral Sex, References to Sex, Sad Gintoki, See it got better, Smoking, Soft Gintoki, Soft Hijikata, Swearing, This isn't as dark as it sounds, kind of, like once, the smut has arrived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxqueenofshadows/pseuds/nyxqueenofshadows
Summary: Gintoki is having a hard time and Hijikata decides to help, then finds he kind of likes it. Then when Hijikata needs help, Gintoki is there immediately. In the midst of helping each other, feelings develop. (as of Chapter 5, there is smut. Everything before that is rated teen)





	1. Nightmares and Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from fanfic.net with a couple of slight edits. This was my first fic that I posted, so sorry it's a bit rough. If there's (still) any grammar mistakes anywhere, tell me and I'll fix it. Boring stuff out of the way, let's go!

Hijikata had never felt so apprehensive about entering the Yorozuya household. Usually he would just barge in with the rest of the Shinsengumi hot on his heels and make some comment which would lead to more arguing. But this was different.

On his patrol (alone after Sougo had gone off to nap, again) he had run into Otae-san carrying way too many bags of food for just the Shimuras to get through. When he had asked why they had enough food to feed an army, they responded identically: 

"Kagura."

He had understood, but was still curious. "So why is she staying with you?"

Shinpachi went quiet but Otae-san seemed to become fired up. 

"That perm-bastard got drunk and kicked off at her. He yelled something about her being allowed to come back in a week then threw her out. Bastard. She might not want to go back..."

Otae-san continued to mutter angrily to herself so Hijikata turned to the younger Shimura. 

"I didn't know the perm-head would do that to her. Not that I care, but there must be more to it than just that."

Shinpachi shifted uncomfortably as he answered.

"He's never got this bad before, but this happens every now and then. He's never said why, but I trust Gin-san to sort his own problems out. You should too."

With that they both left Hijikata with his curiosity thoroughly unsated. This curiosity was what had carried him to the Yorozuya household.

Normally, there was light pouring out of the windows (and the occasional giant dog-shaped hole) and the sound of screaming children. But now, it was silent and dark, like no one lived there at all. Swallowing his nervousness, Hijikata rang the doorbell and waited. And waited. There was no response. He tried again, but there was still nothing. He almost turned round and left, thinking that there was no-one home, but heard a sniff, similar to that heard when someone is crying. Hijikata stiffened. He had never heard of the Yorozya crying. Something had to be seriously wrong. 

He slid open the door and looked around. "Oi, Yorozuya. I'm coming in." There was no response, but he went in anyway.

 

Hijikata didn't find him until he tried following the smell of alcohol. It led him to what he assumed was the man's room at the back of the house. Sliding open the door, the smell became overpowering. Grunting slightly, he covered his nose and looked in. 

The normally restless perm-head was propped up against the wall opposite the door, a bottle of sake hanging loosely from his left hand. The wooden sword, which almost never left his side, was discarded in the far corner. The man's head was bowed, his curly silver hair hiding his expression. Hijikata was momentarily lost for words. 

"Yorozuya?" He called out hesitantly.

The man in question scoffed quietly. Even from that sound Hijikata noticed the bitterness, but his following words confirmed it. 

"Those kids. I told them to leave me alone. I suppose they thought that meant sending the Shinsengumi's dog to see me at my worst." 

His voice was hoarse, as though he had been screaming or crying. Or both. He looked up and Hijikata found it difficult to maintain eye contact. Though his eyes were normally quite dead, there was usually some humour in them. Now, there was nothing. They were like rusted pits of despair and Hijikata actually felt his heart ache at the loss in them.

"So? Dog?" Gintoki drew out the last sound, making it harsher than he would perhaps have done on any other day. "If you want to laugh, I won't stop you. I laugh at myself, how could I not?" He began to chuckle, but the sound was completely devoid of mirth. 

That was what pushed Hijikata to take a step forward.

"If you think I'd laugh, then you must think I'm a sick bastard, Yorozuya." He continued to walk forward until he was stood over the silver-haired man. He slowly crouched down, not breaking eye contact. "You have people to look after. You don't have time to be wallowing in self-pity."

The dead look faltered for a moment, replaced by burning anger, but it only lasted a moment. 

"I know. But I haven't done anything, have I? I haven't made any progress since the war." His voice became low and hoarse again. "I'm nothing. Worthless. All those people died and I've done absolutely nothing to redeem myself-"

He was cut off when Hijikata slapped him across the face. 

"Gintoki." 

This got the man in question's attention. He never called him by his name. The haze of self-pity started to clear, but he remained silent. 

"You are not worthless. I don't know what happened to you in the war and I'm not asking you to tell me now. But dammit if I'm going to let you think that you haven't changed. You might not notice, but you attract people." He blushed slightly. "Me included. Even if we don't want to, we end up spending time with you and liking it. Not because we want something from you, but because we like you. You have brought all of these people together. If that's not redeeming then I don't know what is. So get up. You're always the one saying to keep going if it gets you killed. So follow your own advice. Get up, perm-head." 

Gintoki looked up stupidly at the blushing Hijikata, who part-way through his speech had stood up, and looked at the hand being offered to him. Slowly, he reached out and grasped it, relishing the contact of another living person, even if it was a man he was supposed to hate. He staggered to his feet with Hijikata's help, but didn't let go of his hand.

"Why'd you come for me? You hate me." 

Hijikata shrugged and pulled his hand back to place a cigarette between his lips. He lit it and breathed in deeply. He turned to leave but paused, as if remembering he hadn't answered the question.

"The world isn't the same without you, y'know." He took another breath. "Don't tell that sadist bastard anything of what happened today or I'll make you commit seppuku. Go and collect China before she eats Otae-san out of house and home." 

With that last comment, he disappeared out of the door, back to his patrol.

Gintoki stood there for a minute longer, collecting himself. Then he moved to the corner and picked up his sword, sliding it into his yukata. Then he scratched his head, chucked the sake bottles out of the window and flicked the lights on. Sighing quietly, he left the house and set off in the direction of the Shimura dojo, steeling himself for the beating he'd get when he got there. Though thoughts of crazy Yato and Gorilla ladies rolled around his head, he couldn't quite get the image of a blushing Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi out of his head.

\--------------------

 

The next day things went back to normal, with death threats being thrown back and forth between the two. Well it seemed like that. At first, they tried to pretend that nothing had happened, but whenever one saw the other's face darken with painful memories, they put in more effort to help than they perhaps would have done before. That was how things stayed for a while. Then the next big event happened, again to Gintoki.

He'd been doing so well for the last couple of months. He'd got up at a reasonable time, looked after the kids and even got less irritated at those Shinsengumi tax-thieves. But then he heard that there'd been a Shinsengumi raid and then didn't see Hijikata for a few days. No big deal. But for some reason this triggered a new and utterly terrifying nightmare. 

It started in much the same way as the others had, with him in the War fighting off endless waves of Amanto. But then he caught sight of a familiar raven-haired man some way away from him and panic seized him. He had to save him! He fought his way over, but that raven head seemed to be getting more and more blood-stained and it didn't feel like he was getting closer. 

Suddenly the Amanto parted, allowing Gintoki a clear view of Hijikata fighting for his life. Before Gintoki could warn him, a beefy Amanto stabbed him in the back with a spear, forcing it all the way through until it stuck in the ground on the other side, blood trickling down its shaft. The Amanto grabbed another spear and did it again and again and again until Gintoki was shaken out of his stupor. He roared and charged forward, killing all the nearby Amanto but saving an especially vicious decapitation for the spear-wielding Amanto. Panting heavily, he glanced at Hijikata and was honestly terrified by what he saw.

Hijikata was still alive despite the injuries that should have killed him. His eyes were dull and glassy but as they saw Gintoki they focused slightly. 

"Gi-" He tried to speak again, but his lungs were filling with blood.

Gintoki became desperate. "Don't speak. I'll get help for you!" He looked around but there was no one to be found and deep down he knew that Hijikata was going to die. 

Despite Gintoki's warning Hijikata spoke again. 

"-ill -e. Ki- me."

Gintoki couldn't stop the strangled groan that left his throat as he understood what he meant. 

"I can't kill you. I can't-" 

Hijikata's head lolled forward and the dying man gave a strangled cough.

Then the nightmare got too much for Gintoki. The Amanto around him morphed into blood-stained versions of Hijikata all begging for death. "I need to be at peace! It can only be you who kills me!" They shouted until he couldn't take it anymore. Gintoki roared and forced his katana into Hijikata's chest.

That was when he woke up. 

He was breathing heavily and covered in sweat. The panic from his dream was bleeding into the real world and the hammering in his chest wasn't slowing down. Staggering up, he grabbed his wooden sword and rushed out of the door. The sleepy complaints of Kagura bypassed him as he had only one purpose in mind. Find Hijikata. Gintoki raced through the streets and tried to ignore the feeling of panic which was begging him to give in. He clambered over the walls of the Shinsengumi barracks and ran up to the nearest door. A quick sniff told him that this was where Hijikata was supposed to be and he slammed open the sliding door.

Hijikata was awake instantly and reaching for his sword, but when he saw it was the Yorozuya, he paused. 

"What're ya doin' here, Yorozuya?" 

He planned to insult him but took in the wild look in the other man's eyes and slowed down. Before he could ask anything else, the Yorozuya had strode over to him and pulled the blanket off of him. 

"Oi-" 

Hijikata got to his feet and pushed the silver-haired bastard off him. What was he doing? The man in question was looking him up and down and once he had found (or not found) whatever he was looking for, he visibly sagged, falling into the nearest wall and sliding to the floor. 

"You're okay. I don't have to kill you. It wasn't real." 

He was muttering to himself and it was only now that Hijikata understood. He'd had a nightmare, a serious one by the looks of it. He reached over and pulled a cigarette out and stuck it between his lips but didn't light it yet. He was too lost in thought. The reasons for the nightmare eluded him and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. But he knew he needed to console the silver-haired man, as much as it felt strange to think. 

Lighting the cigarette he took a deep breath of the bitter smoke and walked towards the Yorozuya. Crouching in front of him, Hijikata lifted his chin with a finger and made sure their eyes were locked, but the other man's eyes were unfocused. 

"Look at me." 

Gintoki obliged, his eyes slowly focusing. 

"I'm fine. I'm alive." He cleared his throat. "You can check for yourself, if you need to."

The Yorozuya moved faster than he expected. The next thing Hijikata knew he was being pressed all along his torso, particularly his shoulders and upper back. 

"Oi, watch it!" 

He had offered, but that didn't mean that he could just touch wherever he wanted! The silver-haired man paused in his searching for wounds that weren't there and looked up intently at Hijikata. 

"I have to protect you tonight." The raven-haired man opened his mouth to protest but was cut off. "I have to."

There was so much conviction in his voice that Hijikata found it difficult to refuse. But that didn't mean he couldn't work with the situation. 

"The only thing you need to protect me from is the cold, but feel free to protect me from that." 

Stubbing out his cigarette, he lay back down on his futon and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly.

He was surprised when a second weight joined him under the blanket and warm arms wrapped around him. Hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt, Hijikata turned to voice his discontent but found he couldn't when he saw the deadness in the Yorozuya's eyes.

“Uhh-“

"I'm protecting you from the cold."

Hijikata sighed through his nose but didn't make any attempt to shake him off. Settling back down, he listened to the steady breathing of the perm-head behind him and found that sleep came a bit quicker than normal. His last thought before sleep claimed him was something along the lines of how nice this felt.

 

Hijikata was awoken early the next morning by the cold seeping through the blanket behind him. Sitting up, he saw that there was no evidence that the perm-head had even been there. Lighting the first cigarette of the day, he slid open the door to look outside. He wasn't sure what he was looking for but it definitely wasn't what he found. There was a small bottle of mayonnaise on top of a note that simply said, "I owe you another one." 

He fought down a smile. "You could have stayed the whole night, bastard."

Yamazaki ruined the moment by coming around the corner doing his ridiculous badminton exercises. Hijikata glowered at him. 

"Go commit seppuku where I can't see you!" 

He screamed and Yamazaki squealed, fleeing around the corner. Hijikata took one last look at the note then shoved it in his pocket, ready to start his day (probably by avoiding death from Sougo). But, as he changed into his uniform, he found it difficult to ignore the feeling of the paper in his pocket and the memory of that panicked look on the Yorozuya's face.

\---------------------

 

Again, things went back to normal for a while. They'd fight in the street, save each other when they really needed to and generally try to keep their lives going. Once, Hijikata brought up the bottle of mayonnaise he was owed but the perm-head simply said that he was "saving it for a special occasion," whatever that meant. He never elaborated on that and Hijikata didn't ask. It was coming up to the one day of the year he couldn't stand and he didn't have time to deal with a certain silver-haired idiot.

Gintoki would be lying if he said that he didn't notice the change in the Vice-Commander's behaviour. He had a feeling what had changed (he remembered the whole business with the sadist's older sister) and was waiting for the right time to bring it up. He had finally worked up the courage to do it and was waiting (well, loitering was closer to the truth) by the vending machine the Vice-Commander usually bought his cigarettes from.

He'd been there for an hour before anyone from the Shinsengumi turned up and told him to leave. It was some member Gintoki had never seen before and when he asked where their chain-smoking representative was, he was told to look for him tomorrow because he didn't want to see anyone today. A simple refusal wasn't enough to stop Gintoki and by now he had an idea of exactly what day it was and where Hijikata would be. He felt a strange urge to find the man. He chalked it up to the mayonnaise he owed him and set off to the nearest shop.

After a short detour to a flower shop (the one owned by that terrifying monster who's actually a nice guy), Gintoki wandered to the graveyard. Placing one flower (a sweet pea) on a grave he rarely visited, he moved between the other gravestones until he spotted a bowed raven-haired head. 

Quietly, Gintoki moved up behind him, wary of frightening or severely pissing off Hijikata. It was only when he was stood directly over him that he realised he had no reason to worry. His shadow should have been an immediate indicator for the Vice-Commander to defend himself, or at least turn around, but he hadn't reacted at all. 

"Oi." 

Gintoki kept his voice quiet but still had to hold back a wince at how harsh his voice sounded in the silence of the graveyard. Still getting no response, he sighed. Crouching down, he reached past Hijikata and placed the rest of the flowers by the picture of a calmly smiling woman with caramel-coloured hair. This got a response.

"What do you want, Yorozuya." 

Though it was phrased as a question, it didn't sound like one, staying monotone throughout and lacking the usual sound of a question.

Gintoki knelt down fully, but stayed a comfortable distance away, wanting to take this slowly. 

"I wanted to respect her with you. I brought some of those spicy crisps she liked. We can eat them and you can tell me about her. I want to know what she was like." 

Hijikata barked an incredulous laugh at this point. Gintoki felt his face flush but didn't back down. 

"If you don't want to do any of that, then I can leave them with you. I owed you a bottle of mayo and I think now is the time to give it to you." He placed the crisps and mayonnaise next to Hijikata and shuffled forward. "I've got one more thing for you, if you want."

He waited for Hijikata to make any sign of refusal. He didn't. Shuffling forward again, Gintoki pressed his chest against Hijikata's back and wrapped his arms around him, holding him in place for a moment. Hijikata made a sound close to a squawk but didn't make any effort to move away. 

"You don't do this often do you?" There was no immediate verbal response, but then Hijikata shook his head. "I can do this for you whenever you need it. You need it now, don't you?" There was a pause. Then Hijikata spoke, voice rough and deep with pain.

"I'd never admit that." His voice changed tone slightly. "You know, I can't respect the dead with my arms pinned."

Gintoki smiled and removed his arms, shifting round so that they were back to back. "This better?"

Hijikata hummed in approval, the sound travelling down Gintoki's spine.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Hijikata grateful for the support but not wanting to be overly sappy. He realised just how long it had been since he last sat with someone like this. He voiced as much. 

"And it was with you." He scoffed. "Weird." 

The Yorozuya turned his head and Hijikata could almost feel the glare he was probably getting. "I sit with you when you need it most and the most I get is a weird comment?" He turned the other way again. "I'm hurt Oogoshi-kun."

"Don't call me that."

"Why?" He whined, but the question was still there.

"You don't call me by my name often enough."

Gintoki tried to scoff but it turned into something of a strangled chuckle. "Coming from you. You have never called me by name. Well, you did once. At least I do it for you sometimes."

"You never mean it."

"That's beside the point." 

They fell silent again, the sudden quiet surprising both. It had felt so natural to speak that when they stopped, it felt strange.

Hijikata was the first to break the silence. "We need to have a serious conversation, don't we?"

An indecisive hum travelled up his spine. "We aren't the kind of people to settle things like that. Besides, we're being watched."

Hijikata jumped up and looked around, but saw no one. Looking down, he glared at the Yorozuya who was still sat as he had been before.

"Who's watching us, bastard? I don't see anyone."

"I would have thought she'd be watching."

"Who?"

"The sadist's sister."

Hijikata paused. "She's dead. She can't watch much of anything."

"Then why do you come here every year and tell her how sorry you are?" Gintoki's voice had deepened and was more cautious, as if trying to soften the impact his words would have. It didn't work.

"You don't even know her name, so don't assume that you know what I say to her or why. Get lost, bastard, I've had enough of you. Take your mayonnaise and your stupid monologues and leave me alone." 

Hijikata turned to face the grave again but stilled when he felt a presence behind him. Warm air curled around his right ear as Gintoki breathed out and a light tap from the wooden sword at his throat reminded him to stay still.

"If you don't like my monologues then that's a shame. You're about to get one. You dealt with me when you didn't have to. You came into my home and pulled me back from the depths of hell. You reminded me what was real and what wasn't. And you're telling me that if I want to help you, I have to fuck off? I'm not having that. I will help you when I can because I want to. You can kick and scream and tell me to fuck off, but I will not abandon you when you didn't abandon me." He removed his sword from Hijikata's neck and stepped back. "I still carry the guilt of failing to save someone I held close to me. I still apologise. So I know how you feel."

Hijikata sighed heavily and slumped to the ground, subconsciously rubbing his throat. This was the most openly vulnerable he'd ever seen the Yorozuya and it had resonated with him somewhere. 

Hijikata spoke up. "You wanted to hear what she was like? I'll tell you."

And he did. They sat by the gravestone, Hijikata talking about the things they'd done together when they were younger and how he'd felt for her. When he'd finished, he pulled the bag of crisps towards him and opened them. Wincing at the smell, he grabbed one anyway. 

"For Mitsuba." 

Gintoki echoed him and for a few minutes they just sat and ate in memory of her. However, the sun was starting to set and they couldn't stay out here all night.

"Vice-Commander, I formally offer for you to come to my house and drink away the night." The Yorozuya stood up and grinned down at Hijikata who weirdly found it difficult to not smile back.

"Alright then. But you better have good alcohol or I'll arrest you tomorrow."

Gintoki tried to hide his surprise at being accepted but struggled. "Oh I do. And you're going to like it. And if you're a good boy I might even make a Hijikata mayonnaise special with that bottle of mayonnaise."

"Don't push it, but I'll take the food. I didn't know you could cook."

Gintoki pulled Hijikata onto his feet and slung an arm over his shoulders, pulling them close together and started to walk in the direction of the Yorozuya household. 

"I'm a great cook! I just never get to show it cos Food Wars monopolised the market!"

"Someone sounds bitter." Hijikata was smirking now as they reached the Yorozuya household. 

Gintoki frowned, but it was good-natured. 

"Nooooooo." He whined unconvincingly. 

They climbed the stairs together, bumping shoulders good-naturedly. Sliding the door open, they kicked off their shoes. Only once the door closed did they realise just what they had done. They had barely spoken as friends and now here they were. In a house, alone. To ease the awkwardness, Gintoki moved into the kitchen and turned his head to call over his shoulder.

"Make yourself comfortable somewhere, but preferably not in the cupboard or Kagura will get annoyed!"

"Yeah, sure..." Hijikata glanced through all of the rooms but couldn't find anywhere he felt comfortable in until he reached the room at the back of the house, the Yorozuya's room. It was surprisingly clean, apart from the pile of identical yukatas in the corner. He didn't realise that he'd just been stood in the middle of the room taking in the atmosphere and the smell (that he just couldn't put his finger on) until the owner of the room appeared behind him. As in, right behind him.

"What are you looking at?" 

Gintoki was holding a drink but he'd almost forgotten it when he realised that the Demon Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi was just staring around his room, seemingly lost in thought. Sneaking up on him had been way too easy. Said Demon froze and tried not to lean either forward or backwards.

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

Hijikata lightly flushed. "About the way it smells in here. It smells like you."

Gintoki chuckled. "Well of course it does, I sleep in here." He paused, seemingly mulling over whether to ask what he wanted to ask. "What do I smell like?"

Hijikata hesitated, then turned round. This was going to be weird, but they'd hugged before, right? So this wasn't too much of a step forward. Right? 

"It would be easier to work that out from the source."

Gintoki grinned broadly and placed the drink down behind him. Holding his arms out, he spoke again. 

"I never thought you'd be so forward, Hijikata-kuuuun." He drew out the last syllable. "Come on then, tell me."

Hijikata inhaled and exhaled, then stepped forward and bent his head into the crook of Gintoki's neck. He paused and then breathed in slowly, filling his lungs with his strange scent. Then it clicked and he found himself speaking without thinking, still without moving away. 

"You smell sweet, but with a hint of masculinity. Safe, but with a hint of danger, violence and blood. But mostly-" He breathed in again and tried to ignore the fact that he could see the pulse in the other man's neck. "-you smell warm. Of comfort. Of home."

Gintoki hummed, the sound reverberating between the two. "You seem to like that smell."

"Not as much as you like me sniffing you, pervert. I can hear your heartbeat."

"What would you say if I asked you for more?" Gintoki's voice had gone low and quiet, as if barely wanting to break the moment.

"Bastard." Hijikata smirked up at the hesitation in the perm-head's expression before tilting his chin with a finger so that they faced each other. "I'd call you a bastard for being so forward." 

Then he kissed him. It was hesitant and unsure, but it was a kiss. For a moment there was nothing on the other end. Then the response that he got was so desperate and relieved that he had to grab hold of the body in front of him for support. They pulled apart, panting slightly, searching for evidence of a prank in the other man's eyes. They didn't find any.

The moment was only ruined when a voice piped up from behind them. "Shinpachi, why are the two idiots kissing?"

"I don't know Kagura-chan. But if they want to go further then they can do it somewhere else. There are some things I could do without hearing."

There was an awkward silence where no one moved for a moment. Then a few things happened simultaneously. Gintoki pulled Hijikata, who had been trying to escape from the embarrassment, into his chest, employing his usual blank expression while Kagura and Shinpachi watched with judgemental expressions on their faces.

"Lemme go Yorozuya, this is embarrassing!"

"No, we've kissed so we have to cuddle now. It's the law."

"YOROZUYAAAAA!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sweet pea can symbolise goodbye, so I thought it was fitting.
> 
> Side note: I always imagined Hijikata going to Mitsuba's grave to talk to her and then the idea of him sat back to back with Gintoki came to me and that last bit just kind of happened.  
> Don't ask me where the sniffing thing came from, I have no idea.  
> Sorry about the paragraphing and formatting. I still don't know how to paragraph.


	2. Hospital Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Yamazaki was finding it harder to disagree. "Fine, but only because I can't be bothered traipsing over there." He held out the files. "Take these to the Vice-Commander and tell him not to overwork himself. The last part's from Kondo-san. Thanks, danna."  
> He had turned to go but Gintoki spoke up in confusion. "Wait, traipsing over to where?"  
> Yamazaki looked back, just as confused. "Didn't you know, danna? He's in the hospital."'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boring stuff: Still cross-posted from fanfic.net but with some minor (and I mean minor) edits. If there's any grammar mistakes or anything, tell me and I'll fix it.  
> Let's go!

It had been a week since that kiss and Gintoki would be lying if he said he didn't miss Hijikata. The Vice-Commander had stayed for a while that day, bickering and doing the usual whenever he encountered all three Yorozuya, but there were some small changes. He lingered next to Gintoki and whenever the kids weren't paying attention his eyes kept flickering down to Gintoki's lips. Looking back on it, Gintoki thought the whole thing was kind of cute. But that had pretty much been all that had happened. They'd barely seen each other the next day and not at all the day after. Hijikata had sent Yamazaki over on the fourth day to tell Gintoki that he was fine but would be lying low for a few days and then they'd be going on a raid. 

That was fine. Gintoki could handle all that. What he couldn't handle was the fact that he knew the raid had gone on (half of Edo probably knew thanks to the massive explosions) but he still hadn't heard anything back from anyone.

This, of course, had led to Gintoki loitering outside the Shinsengumi barracks. Or rather, it would have done if he hadn't seen the state that everyone was in. Every single Shinsengumi member he could see had at least one bandage somewhere and something about it was unnerving. So now he was loitering inside the barracks. Perhaps loitering was the wrong word. Marching around trying to find someone who knew where to find Hijikata or the Gorilla or Souichiro-kun (anyone he knew at this point) was closer to the truth. He'd already tried Hijikata's room and it was empty and that gave Gintoki a bad feeling, a twisting in his gut. Something had gone wrong.

Striding round a corner he had to jump to one side to avoid crashing into a shorter man who then apologised profusely. It was only when the shorter man looked up did each of them realise who they were talking to.

"Jimmy-kun, long time no see."

"It's Yamazaki, danna."

Gintoki took in the situation again. Jimmy-kun was fidgeting and had a collection of different size files in his arms. There was only one person in the entire Shinsengumi who did that much paperwork. 

"Need help delivering those to your chain-smoking, mayonnaise-guzzling representative?"

"You're more shrewd than people give you credit for, danna. But whenever you ask for something, there's always a price."

"Do you have that little faith in me?"

"Yes."

"Well that's just rude." Gintoki frowned slightly. "In this case, my destination and price would be the same. And you could get something else done. Play badminton or whatever it is you do these days."

Yamazaki was finding it harder to disagree. "Fine, but only because I can't be bothered traipsing over there." He held out the files. "Take these to the Vice-Commander and tell him not to overwork himself. The last part's from Kondo-san. Thanks, danna."

He had turned to go but Gintoki spoke up in confusion. "Wait, traipsing over to where?"

Yamazaki looked back, just as confused. "Didn't you know, danna? He's in the hospital."

 

Gintoki was still fuming when he arrived at the hospital but had calmed down a little by the time he was stood outside the room in the hospital which he had been directed to. Taking a deep breath, he slid open the door and glared down at the man in the bed. He was in the process of eating a bowl of god-knows-what covered in mayonnaise but Gintoki's eyes immediately fell on the layers of bandages covering his torso and arms and the slightly stiff way he was sat. He felt his glare darken but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Hijikata looked up and frowned, placing the bowl to one side. 

"Yorozuya? I was expecting Yamazaki." Then he seemed to notice the dark look on the other man's face and something that might have been guilt crossed his face. "Are you angry that I didn't tell you?"

"No." The reply was simple and short, but Hijikata knew there was more to it.

"Okay, are you angry that you had to come over here?"

"This isn't a guessing game, and no."

Hijikata sighed. Honestly, he'd kind of missed the Yorozuya and had been looking forward to when they could go back to bickering and maybe continue from where they left off a week ago. But this damn raid might have ruined that.

Gintoki spoke up again, still from the doorway. "How'd you get hurt?"

"A raid."

"I know that." The reply was shorter and sharper than it would have been usually, but Gintoki was feeling too on edge to care. "Who did it? Did you let your guard down?"

Hijikata considered throwing his guessing game comment from earlier back in his face, but couldn't bring himself to do it. "Some random Joi. And no, I was protecting someone."

When Gintoki's features faded into a neutral expression and he finally came into the room and sat down, that should have been fine. But Hijikata still felt something was off. Gintoki had thrown the reports down on the table next to him which he would never have normally done for fear of having to clear up the papers if they fell. Truly, he was lazy to the core.

He was right. Gintoki was silently fuming inside. He'd say that it wasn't jealousy, but he'd be lying.

"Who was the lucky guy?"

"Huh? Who did I save?" Hijikata paused. "Sougo."

"I would have thought he could handle himself."

"He can, but not while trying to escape a falling building and fighting Joi at the same time."

Hijikata shifted slightly, trying to ease the ache in his side, and this was when Gintoki finally snapped. 

"So let me get this straight. You nearly died trying to save some other guy who is perfectly capable of saving himself and you didn't even think to tell me?"

"Should I have done?" He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Gintoki leaned over in the chair, placing his arms on either side of Hijikata to keep him there and to demand attention, but his gaze was anything but affectionate.

Even so, he spoke quietly. "How am I meant to feel, huh? The guy I like kisses me, then disappears to go and do his job. Fine. But he nearly dies, trying to save someone, and then just forgets about me."

"I didn't-"

"I'm not done." Gintoki leaned forward again, brushing their noses together. His tone softened. "I know. It's not your fault, I would have done it too. Duty to save others and all that. But frankly, I'm pissed off. You shouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. If you're there to save someone, you need someone there to save you."

"You can't come on raids with me, Yorozuya." Hijikata looked away for a moment. The conflicting feelings here were driving him mad. It was intimate, but he felt like a scolded child.

Gintoki noticed his discomfort, but didn't move. Why should he? If their roles had been reversed, Hijikata would have done something similar, just in his own, shouting-someone-to-death way. He hummed, thinking. 

"Then, if I can't go on raids with you because I'm not Shinsengumi, I'll go as your personal bodyguard!" A slight sparkle appeared in his eyes. "Yeah! Then I'll still be Yorozuya, and I can jump in if things get really bad!"

Yet again, Hijikata knew the trainwreck was coming as soon as he opened his mouth without considering the consequences. 

"But I don't need you." 

That sparkle died as quickly as it had come and Gintoki made to get up. 

"Ah, no, wait! That's not what I meant!" 

In his rush to reach for Gintoki, to pull him back and explain himself, Hijikata got tangled in the hospital blankets and fell to one side. It just happened to be the side which he had been stabbed on. He winced, but knew Gintoki was hovering nearby, waiting to see what he was allowed to do, so he carried on. 

"I'm always gonna get hurt, the same way you are. If I asked to help out every time you nearly died, I'd never stop. I'm no different. Every time I leave the barracks, or even every time I put on that uniform, I'm putting myself in danger. So I'm not gonna ask for you to watch my back all the time. I'm just gonna ask you to help me limp onto the next battlefield."

Gintoki was quiet for a moment, his face blank. Calculating. Then he leaned down and straightened Hijikata up again, one hand lingering on his chest and the other on his face. Absently, Gintoki brushed a stray eyelash off of Hijikata's cheek. 

"That was oddly poetic of you, Hijikata-kun."

"Shut up." He scowled and would have folded his arms if there weren't a permy obstruction in the way.

"Never." Gintoki kissed him softly and briefly on the lips, just a kiss for kiss's sake. "So let me get this straight. You want me to - how to put this - be your arms and legs while you recover?"

Hijikata nodded slowly, wondering where this was going.

"Two questions." He held up a finger. "1. Would you do that for me forever, say if I happened to lose a leg?"

"Don't get any ideas, Yorozuya."

"Awwww." His pout quickly faded into a smirk as he held up two fingers. "Do you have to stay overnight?"

"Huh?" Hijikata had to think back to what he'd been told. "No, I don't think so, there's a doctor at the barracks who can do most things they can here."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I can't really walk yet and I don't want a wheelchair." Hijikata didn't like where this was going. Not one bit.

"I'm your new legs, and I can walk just fine." 

Gintoki pulled back the covers dramatically and slid his hands under Hijikata's legs and back.

"Uhhh..."

"How is most comfortable for you, bridal, fireman's lift or," Gintoki leaned in until his breath was ghosting over Hijikata's cheek, "like I'm going to fuck you against a wall?"  
Hijikata expelled so much air so quickly it was like he'd been punched in the gut and his face suddenly felt much warmer.

Gintoki came to his own conclusions, as he often did. "Last one it is."

"Wait-" 

Too late. Gintoki had lifted him up, carefully manoeuvring Hijikata so that they were face to face while avoiding all the places he could see bandages, and held him close, one hand under each thigh.

"Put your arms round me." 

They were so close they could hear each other breathing and feel the low rumble as they spoke.

"No, bastard." Hijikata could hear his own voice waver. Why was his face so warm?

"If you don't, you'll fall."

That made sense, but Hijikata, the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi's pride was at stake here! Then again, if he fell, he'd probably have to spend more time with the bastard because his injuries had been aggravated. Damn. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around the back of Gintoki's neck and tried to hold back the fluffy feeling that he got when Gintoki smiled broadly at him. 

"Please don't do this again." 

Even Hijikata wasn't sure he meant that, and he'd said it.

"Why not?" Gintoki shifted so that he could speak into the ear of the man he was carrying. "I've still not fucked you against a wall yet." 

He breathed the words, making sure Hijikata felt the promise behind them.

As soon as he could, Hijikata buried his face into Gintoki's shoulder to hide his embarrassment, but he couldn't help that little spark of excitement which flashed somewhere between his heart and his stomach. Didn't mean he was going to lift his head up any time soon though.

Gintoki put on his best taxi-driver impersonation. "Where would you like to go, sir?"

"Barracks." The reply was muffled, but Gintoki still understood.

"Alright, off we go!" 

As an afterthought, he grabbed the reports he'd tossed on the side. He had been asked to deliver them and he never liked leaving a job unfinished. Sliding open the door he paused, blocked by the two men standing in the door. Well, a boy-sadist and a gorilla. The gorilla was crying and muttering something along the lines of how beautiful love was while the sadist was just blankly looking on.

"Oi, Hijikata-san. If I had to see this, I'd rather you left me to die next time."

"Next time I will, Sougo!"

"Don't," Gintoki chimed in, "Otherwise I'd have no reason to do this. Now, let's go princess!" He began to amble down the corridor, whistling to himself.

"Oi! Who you calling princess?" There was no response but slightly strained whistling, as though Gintoki was holding back laughter. "YOROZUYAAAAA!"

Sougo glanced at his gorilla boss. "Kondo-san, didn't this happen last time?"

"No, Sougo. This is completely different."

Sougo looked back down the corridor. "Sure. As different as you and a gorilla."

"What you trying to say Sougo? You'll make me cry!"

"You're already crying, Kondo-san." 

Sougo set off after the danna and Hijikata-san, determined to prank them at some point on their journey, and all the gorilla could do was follow, quietly crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably going to be a Chapter 3 for this at some point (needs to be before I go to Uni though) but I'm really lazy at uploading and there isn't really a plot. It would probably be a fluffy chapter or two and then a smut chapter (maybe? I just want an excuse to write that wall sex scene, not gonna lie).  
> Side note: I don't know why I made Hijikata so spectacularly inept at expressing himself and gave him no filter in this. It just kinda happened. Ah well.
> 
> Comment or give a kudos or whatever if you liked it.


	3. It's nice to have company sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata didn't like being confined to the barracks while he recovered. At least he had a certain perm head to keep him company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote a third chapter, are you proud of me?  
> Boring stuff: if there's any grammar or continuity mistakes or anything, tell me and I'll fix it.  
> With that out of the way, let's go!

One week. That was how long Hijikata had been instructed (ordered) to rest for. He’d tried to argue against this because _come on Kondo-san it’s just a measly rib injury _but to no avail. At least he got to catch up on paperwork, right?__

__He slammed his head on the desk with a loud bang. He hated paperwork. And it was only the first day. This was how he died, swamped in paperwork._ _

__“Hijikata-kun, your brain is damaged enough from the mayonnaise, don’t make it worse,” Gintoki piped up from the floor, not even looking up from the copy of Jump he was reading._ _

__Oh yeah, and irritated to death by a freeloader. The silver-haired man had just turned up, settled in and then not moved except to turn the page. It was actually nice to have company (not that Hijikata would ever admit it out loud) but it was still weird._ _

__“Shuddap, my brain’s better than yours. All those sweets have rotted it.” Hijikata’s voice was muffled by the fact that his face was still pressed into the desk but his words seemed to carry over easily enough._ _

__Gintoki looked up with a scandalised gasp. “How dare you suggest that sweets, the love of my life, would ever harm me? Take that back!”_ _

__Tilting his head so that he could see Gintoki without having to sit up, Hijikata smirked. Here was his chance to finally tease the Yorozuya._ _

__“I thought _I _was the love of your life? It’s sad. I’ve been beaten by a mere food.”___ _

____Gintoki blinked._ _ _ _

____“Okay,” he held up a finger, “first of all, sweets are not a food. They’re an _experience _. It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate them.” He put up a second finger. “Second, we’ve been dating for, like, a week, so don’t get ahead of yourself.”___ _ _ _

______Shooting him a glare, Hijikata finally sat up and picked up his pen, stabbing it onto the paper with a bit more force than necessary. He’d lost that battle. He carried on writing for a few more minutes, calmed by the sound of Gintoki turning a page every now and then. He’d just reached the end of the file when something occurred to him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dating.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Huh?” Gintoki looked up, brow furrowed in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is that what this is? Are we dating now?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Gintoki’s face smoothed into a blank expression and he closed the copy of Jump. Uh oh._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you not want to?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______His voice sounded disinterested but Hijikata knew it was just a coping mechanism for whatever hurt he thought was coming his way._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What? No! I do.” He could feel himself turning red and he had to force himself to sit still. He’d never admitted it out loud before, but he was attracted to Gintoki and the idea of dating him had crossed his mind a few times before that first kiss._ _ _ _ _ _

______Gintoki frowned again. “Then what?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I just-“ Hijikata tried again. “We never did this formally.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Gintoki just stared at him, for long enough that Hijikata started to fidget. He was startled by sudden sound of Gintoki laughing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oi-“ Hijikata flushed with embarrassment._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No-“ Gintoki was struggling to speak through his laughter but he managed to briefly compose himself “-I should have known you’d want to do this properly.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He took one look at Hijikata’s tomato-red face and exploded into another fit of giggles._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m- I’m sorry! Just- Gimme a minute.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It took him a good few minutes to fully calm down, leaving Hijikata to sulk and glare at the papers scattered over his desk. He heard Gintoki get to his feet but refused to look up, equal parts embarrassed and annoyed. Sensing the silver-haired man leaning over him in front of the desk, he was less surprised when Gintoki placed his finger under Hijikata’s chin and tilted it up so that they were looking at each other, but he still jolted. Hijikata couldn’t help but be suddenly struck by how good-looking Gintoki was, with mirth sparkling in his eyes and a grin dancing over his lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hijikata Toshirou, would you like to go out with me?” Laughter still lined his voice, but it was quieter and deeper. More intimate._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hijikata cleared his throat. “I would.” If he didn’t look flustered, the roughness of his voice was a dead giveaway._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Good.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Gintoki leaned down, finger still on Hijikata’s chin and gently exhaled once, his breath warm against the other man’s lips. Then he closed the gap and their lips met. Unlike the first kiss, which had been somewhat desperate, or even the second kiss, which had been a quick peck, this one was soft and exploratory. Neither man was fighting for dominance; they were just kissing because it felt good. At some point, Gintoki moved his hand from underneath Hijikata’s chin to cupping his cheek and the raven-haired man leaned back, bracing his hands behind him so he didn’t fall._ _ _ _ _ _

______The kiss naturally ended when both men needed air, Gintoki straightening up but Hijikata staying where he was, looking up at his new boyfriend with slightly swollen lips and lightly panting._ _ _ _ _ _

______“See?” Gintoki was also panting. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hijikata gave a half-hearted glare. “Idiot.” He made to lean forward again, but moved in a way that caused his wounded side to twinge and winced._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Careful.” Gintoki stepped round the desk and knelt behind Hijikata, supporting him by gently pushing him up. Once Hijikata was upright, Gintoki stayed behind him, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist, avoiding the still-tender wound._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hijikata huffed. “Don’t make it worse.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I wouldn’t!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You would!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Gintoki smirked. “I’d only hurt you if you told me to.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hijikata frowned. “Why would I-“_ _ _ _ _ _

______It clicked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Pervert!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Flushed, he jolted his shoulder upwards to try and dislodge the silver-haired man but it was no use. Feeling Gintoki shake with laughter behind him, Hijikata sighed and settled in to carry on working._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was going to be an interesting week._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______After that, Gintoki spent every day at the Shinsengumi barracks. He’d appear sometime around one in the afternoon, tease Hijikata for a bit and then settle in, lying on his stomach, knees bent so that his ankles crossed in the air behind him, with a copy of Jump or some other random manga and keep the Vice-Commander company. On the first two days, there had been quite a lot of teasing from Sougo, but all Gintoki had to was mention that Kagura _might _be out walking Sadaharu and he was gone, saying that he’d be happier annoying her anyway. Hijikata rolled his eyes. Not his problem anyway.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Where do you get all those copies of Jump from anyway? Aren’t you dirt poor?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wow, Hijikata-kun. Hit a man where it hurts, why don’t you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata raised an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh fine!” Gintoki threw his hands into in the air in frustration. “They’re old ones. The new one doesn’t come out until next week and I need something to fill my time with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata glared down at him. “Ungrateful. You get my company.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The quiet snicker from the floor didn’t improve his mood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh it’s on now, Yorozuya!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata grabbed a pillow from the futon next to him and hurled it at Gintoki, breaking out into a smug smile when he saw it hit its target._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ow!” The silver-haired samurai let out a screech. “That was my face!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Serves you right for insulting me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh, two can play at that game, Vice-Commander!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________20 minutes and a lot of pillows (and a quick check that Hijikata’s wound hadn’t reopened) later, both men were lying side by side on the floor of Hijikata’s room, staring at the ceiling while they tried to catch their breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gintoki was the first to break the silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well," he panted, "I think I won that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Only because I collapsed and thought my stitches had reopened!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Pff, details.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ll prove you wrong next time.” Hijikata was not sulking. Not at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gintoki chuckled. “The Shinsengumi versus the Yorozuya. Bring it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They fell into companionable silence for a few minutes. Just as the silver-haired man made to get up, Hijikata cleared his throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not that I’m complaining, but don’t you have any jobs to do?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gintoki shrugged. “Only tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you not gonna…” He trailed off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A smirk crossed the other man’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you going to miss me, Hijikata-kuuun?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No!” Hijikata huffed. “It’ll just be weird not seeing your stupid face.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The smirk stayed on Gintoki’s face. “Of course. I’ll come see you if you’re so desperate for my excellent company.” He grabbed his manga and darted out of the door. “See you tomorrow!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oi! I’m not-“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was gone. Hijikata sighed heavily and sat up, ignoring all of the pillows scattered around the room in favour of going back to his desk. Might as well catch up on that work he was supposed to be doing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The next day, kneeling at his desk, Hijikata found himself glancing at the clock every few minutes. It hadn't been so bad in the early afternoon, because he knew that Gintoki would be late. But it was past 10 o’clock in the evening now. Where was he? Their job couldn’t possibly have taken this long._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Could it?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was on the verge of getting up to look for him himself when the sound of shuffling steps filtered through from outside. A few moments later, Gintoki appeared in the doorway, looking weary but otherwise fine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata forced himself to act normal. He already got plenty of stick for being surprisingly needy and affectionate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey. I was wondering where you were.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gintoki shrugged and stumbled into the room. “Around.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata followed his movements curiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you... alright?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The silver-haired samurai attempted to answer but tripped over his own feet and landed on the floor with a thump, his head not far from Hijikata’s leg._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“M’ just tired. We had to run all over the city lookin’ for some dumb animal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hijikata smiled in relief, looking down fondly. “You lazy idiot.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The noise that came out of Gintoki was something close to a whine as he shuffled along the tatami mats and bumped his head into the raven-haired man’s thigh. Hijikata briefly tensed but relaxed as Gintoki kept nuzzling his leg._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wasn’t a cat you were looking for, was it? It seems to have rubbed off on you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m tiiiiiiired, indulge me, Hijikata-kun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gintoki’s eyes were closed but he kept moving forward until his head was firmly settled on Hijikata’s lap, clearly happy with where he had chosen to rest. Hijikata’s hands awkwardly hovered in the air for a minute as his brain tried to catch up. This was as domestically intimate as they’d gotten, with the next closest being the odd chaste kiss or a brief hug. This was different. More serious in a way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After a fierce internal debate, Hijikata gently rested his hand in the other man’s silver hair and tentatively ran his fingers through it, lightly brushing his scalp as he did so. Gintoki went very still for a second before curling towards him even more and humming in approval._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi _petting _me?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t know, are you purring?” Hijikata retorted sharply, his face uncomfortably warm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Shhh, m’not.” This was followed with a contradictory hum deep in the back of his throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hijikata could feel himself smiling, but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe this warmth fluttering around inside him was this “love” thing that everyone kept going on about. That he'd forgotten about. It wasn’t so bad, really. If every day was like this, then maybe he could be happy. Yeah. That sounded good._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________With one last fond glance at Gintoki, Hijikata returned to his work, still softly stroking the head in his lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It didn’t take long for Hijikata to begin to feel tired himself. He leaned down, gently nudging Gintoki out of the doze he had fallen into._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Gintoki. I need to get up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The silver-haired man shifted slightly and looked up blearily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Mmm. Stay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He lifted himself up slightly, only to fall heavily against Hijikata’s shoulder, knocking him down onto the nearby futon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ah, Yoro-“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“M’not moving.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hijikata sighed at the ceiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“At least let me take my jacket off?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________With his jacket removed, Hijikata lay back down, one hand automatically coming to rest in Gintoki’s hair as he curled into his chest, head resting just over Hijikata’s heart. Gintoki smiled sleepily and his eyes slid shut, quickly falling asleep again. Hijikata found falling asleep more difficult. The angle he was lying down at was strange and the weight against his chest was foreign and made it more difficult to breathe. But gradually, he felt a comforting warmth settle over him, right down to his bones, and he could feel himself teetering on the edge of sleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________If this was what being in love was like, he really didn’t mind it at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be two chapters, but I thought this would work better as one chapter and there can be another fluff chapter.   
> Side note: that hair petting scene is not particularly in character, but I was thinking about how Gin-san reminds me of a cat sometimes and the scene just popped in my head. I'm so soft for that scene it's not even funny. It's just SO FLUFFY. And he called Gintoki by his name again (even if he didn't notice, loveable sleepy idiot).
> 
> Comment and/or kudos if you liked it :)


	4. Making a cake is dangerous business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Gintoki wanted was to make a "glad you're better" cake. He should have known better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this, but hey ho. Feel free to tell me if it's shit/not funny.  
> Boring stuff: If there's any grammar or continuity mistakes, tell me and I'll fix it.  
> Let's go!

“KAGURA!!!”

Gintoki was seconds away from diving into the building himself. She’d been in there too long, if she didn’t-

Oh thank god. There she was, in the window. A panicked look on her face, she leapt from the burning building, flames licking out of the window behind her. Shinpachi sighed in relief when she landed without hurting herself and Gintoki pulled her into a brief hug. He held her at arm’s length when he felt something cold and solid between them. Looking down at her, he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Kagura, why did you save that?”

She pouted. “You worked hard on it, Gin-chan.”

Gintoki was about to argue when he glanced over and saw the three main Shinsengumi members looking at the Yorozuya trio with a mixture of expressions. Sougo was smirking, Kondo looked slightly concerned but not entirely surprised and Hijikata… Hijikata looked somewhere between very worried and very pissed off, practically chewing on the cigarette in his mouth.

“Oi, Yorozuya. Why’s your house on fire?” 

“Umm. Well.” Gintoki rubbed the back of his head bashfully, the curls shifting where his fingers settled, looking between the water being sprayed on the building and the man opposite him. He held up the object in his free hand, a tentative smile on his face.

“Surprise?”

There was pause of a few seconds while Hijikata peered at the object, trying to work out what it was. It was easy to see the exact moment it clicked. He blinked a couple of times. Behind him, Sougo was snickering. Hijikata took a long drag of his cigarette, casting his eyes towards the sky in a desperate plea to whatever deity would listen.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

 

**A few hours earlier…**

 

Gintoki was in a good mood. Today was Hijikata’s final check up with the doctor before he was going to be given the okay to go out again. Though this meant Gintoki couldn’t see him every day like he had been doing (he’d miss that, he really would), it also meant that Hijikata would stop being so grumpy because he couldn’t go and enforce the law in that shout-y aggressive way of his.

Because today was the big day, Gintoki had left Hijikata in peace and told him to come see him when his check up (and whatever else that needed doing) was done. This left him a couple of hours to come up with some kind of surprise. A “Glad you’re better” gift. He just had absolutely no idea what to do.

Sat at his desk, Gintoki groaned and pressed his forehead into the wood. Maybe he should just do something simple. Like bake a cake. His head shot up and his eyes brightened. Yeah! He knew Hijikata didn’t much like sweet things (a horrible crime that would soon be amended) but he could just add some mayonnaise if he wanted. Gintoki wasn’t sure if he could stand to watch his beautiful cake drown a salty death, but he’d make allowances just this once.

With newfound purpose, he stood up and strode over to the fridge, swinging the door open with a broad smile on his face. Then he actually looked in the fridge. The smile dropped and, yet again, Gintoki found himself banging his head against a solid surface, this time the top of the fridge.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. I’m poor and live with a literal food vacuum.”

“You called, Gin-chan?”

Kagura poked her head round the corner, a piece of sukonbu sticking out of her mouth as she chewed it.

Gintoki let out a long-suffering sigh, not lifting his head. “We’re going shopping. Go find Shinpachi.”

She let out a triumphant yell (leaving Gintoki wondering whether the fridge was empty just because she wanted new food) and dashed down the corridor, quickly reappearing with a tired and slightly harassed-looking Shinpachi.

“Right.” Gintoki straightened up and set off in the direction of the door. “Come on kids, we’re going on an adventure!”

“Gin-chan, we’re only going to the shop. It’d be an adventure if we were going to find all the Dragon Balls.”

Shinpachi looked over, scandalised. “Kagura-chan! We’ll be sued!” He hurried forward to catch up with Gintoki (ignoring Kagura’s muttered “no we won’t”) and made sure to lock the door behind them. It was only when they made it down the stairs to street level that he spoke again.

“Gin-san, why are we going shopping all of a sudden?”

Gintoki put on an affronted expression. “Are you questioning your fearless leader?”

“Always,” Shinpachi deadpanned. “And you’re not fearless. I remember when you thought there was a ghost in the house and refused to sleep here for a week.”

“That was once!”

Shinpachi raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, fine!” He was quiet for a moment. “Twice.”

“It’s good to admit your faults, Gin-san. You’ll build as a person.” Gintoki opened his mouth to say something about rude kids but was interrupted. “Again, why are we going shopping?”

Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck, keeping an eye on the shop as it came into view at the end of the street. “We’re out of food, Pattsuan, isn’t that obvious?”

“Normally you let us starve?” Shinpachi sounded thoroughly confused and just a _tiny_ bit confused

“Do I?” He halted as he considered this. “Oh.” He started walking again, speeding up so that he could grab what he needed and go.

“I’ve got some things I wanna get. Can I trust you to do the rest Pattsuan?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “Thanks! You're a good kid.” He ruffled Shinpachi's hair. 

Picking up a basket from just inside the door, Gintoki power-walked further into the shop and disappeared down a random aisle.

Shinpachi sighed. He glanced over at Kagura, but she was already reaching out for a brightly coloured toy on the closest shelf. It was going to be a long trip.

 

Gintoki had it much easier. He rushed around, finding the cheapest versions of the things he needed and throwing them haphazardly into the basket (except the eggs, he wasn’t a complete moron). He only hesitated in front of the shelf with all the condiments on it before deciding _fuck it_ and throwing the mayonnaise in the basket as well. Luckily, he had just enough money to pay for it all and as he walked out of the shop, he felt the good mood from earlier returning. He was going to make a cake, Hijikata would like it and it would all be-

Wait.

Gintoki squinted. Was that- Yep. _Shit._

He momentarily froze, then started sprinting down the street, ducking into a side street when he thought he’d gone far enough. He glanced into the bags to make sure he hadn’t lost anything but groaned when he saw a shadow fall over him. He looked up and glared at the man currently standing in the entrance to the alleyway with his arms folded.

“Zura.”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura.”

Katsura tilted his head, the hat he usually wore when he was out firmly planted on his head, and Gintoki inwardly winced. As stupid as Katsura could be, he also had an annoying habit of picking up things that had changed about people. He was the last person he wanted to run into today.

“Gintoki. Friend. Brother in arms.”

“That was years ago, Zura.”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m speaking.” He frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you were cavorting with the enemy?”

“Who’s the enemy this time? I’m busy, Zura.”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura. And you know who I mean. You can’t lie to me Gintoki.”

Gintoki glared, but leaned back against the wall. This could take a while.

“If you’re talking about the thing with Hijikata-“

“I am.”

“-then you don’t need to worry. He’s not the enemy. He’s actually quite clingy once he relaxes. It’s cute.”

Katsura blinked. Then he wrinkled his nose. “Ugh, I didn’t need to hear you describe the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi as _cute_. You know what? You’ll be fine.” He spun around and made to leave the alleyway. "I expect weekly updates on Shinsengumi business!"

"I don't work for you, Zura!" Gintoki smirked. “And you don’t need to worry about me!” There was no reply, but he knew that he’d heard. He made sure he had his bags and jogged the short distance to the Yorozuya flat.

Time to start that cake.

 

Gintoki had about half an hour of peace (in which he organised the fridge and made the batter) when things started going wrong. Thing one: Kagura and Shinpachi coming back. More specifically, Kagura coming back. The second she smelt the cake mix (her nose was scarily attuned to food), she sprinted into the kitchen and leapt onto the counter, landing in a crouch and staring at Gintoki, piece of sukonbu still in her mouth but now significantly smaller.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were making cake, Gin-chan?”

He didn’t look up, choosing to give the batter a last mix. “Because it’s not for you.”

“Rude.”

“Not as rude as you.”

Shinpachi chose this moment to step in. “Who is it for then, Gin-san?”

Gintoki hesitated. “Hijikata.”

Kagura made gagging noises, briefly looking away from the cake batter to pretend to vomit into the sink. Gintoki rolled his eyes but turned away to look for a tray to put the mix in.

“Where did I put it?” He muttered to himself.

“Kagura-chan!”

He looked back at Shinpachi’s exclamation to see Kagura clutching the bowl of cake mix, about to dip one finger in. Gintoki let out a screech and dived for her. She neatly rolled out of the way, but accidentally flicked the hob on with her foot. This was thing two that went wrong. It wouldn’t have been too bad, but the hob was relatively old, so was one of those self-lighting ones. This probably wouldn’t have been terrible, but someone had left a towel on the hob which just happened to also be resting on the wooden window frame. 

The towel erupted into flames. 

Everyone froze. Kagura was still clutching the bowl, Gintoki’s hands were still reaching for her and Shinpachi was stood stock still, glasses flickering in the new firelight. They stayed like that for a second until the fire leapt up to the ceiling, causing the wood to creak. Then they all moved. Gintoki pushed Shinpachi towards the corridor, only looking back to make sure Kagura was following. It was because of this that he saw the exact moment the beam above the doorway fell, trapping her inside the kitchen.

“Kagura!”

He went to do something (he wasn’t sure what, but anything to help her) when her voice sounded from the other side of the doorway.

“Gin-chan! I’m fine. Get out!”

He hesitated.

“Go!”

With a growl, he turned and sprinted out of the door and down the stairs. _Fuck._

 

**The present**

 

Hijikata stared at the bowl. 

“Are you serious? You burnt down your flat because you were making cake? For me?”

Gintoki nodded. “Pretty much.”

Hijikata felt his cheeks heating up so looked away. _Only this idiot._

“I thought you said you were a good cook.”

“I am! It was all Kagura’s fault!” The silver-haired man pulled the bowl back into his chest, hugging it protectively and pouting slightly. “I was going to let you share this but now I won’t. You’ve insulted me.”

He stomped over to the pavement opposite the Yorozuya flat and sat on the curb, staring forlornly at the cake mix. After a brief pause, he dipped his finger in and tasted the mix, offering a slight satisfied smile before dipping in again. 

Hijikata looked after him blankly. He turned to the other Shinsengumi members for support but Sougo was chasing after Kagura yelling something obscene and Kondo was staring at the still burning flat like he had no idea what to do with it (which was probably true). Looks like he was on his own for this one.

He casually walked over to the curb and sat next to his boyfriend, groaning slightly as his side stretched. He’d been given the go-ahead to leave the barracks, but that didn’t mean he was perfectly healthy. 

“Go away.” Gintoki dipped his finger into the mix again, sticking it in his mouth before he spoke again. “I’m sulking.”

Hijikata resisted the urge to smile. “I can see that.”

“Then leave me alone. Let a man sulk in peace.”

“What if I wanted to try some of the cake mix?”

Gintoki squinted at him, finally pulling the finger from his mouth. “You don’t like sweet things.”

Hijikata raised an eyebrow. “You made me a cake. Or tried to."

“I was going to add mayonnaise to it. I know you can’t appreciate true art, so I was dumbing it down for you.”

The raven-haired man scoffed, an argument ready as to why mayonnaise was a gift to mankind from the gods, when a bowl filled his vision.

Gintoki was looking at him expectantly. “Go on then.”

He hesitantly dipped his finger in and licked at the cake mixture before it could drip off his finger. His eyes widened in surprise.

“It’s good.”

Gintoki’s face broke into the biggest smile he’d ever seen and he found himself thinking that he’d do anything to keep that smile on his face (and then squashing that though because he wasn’t a teenager anymore).

“Really? Even without mayonnaise?”

“Really.” Hijikata scooped up some more, sticking his whole finger in his mouth to make sure he got it all.

It was only when he’d done this twice more that he noticed Gintoki looking at him strangely, eyes intensely focused on his movements. Hijikata shifted under the attention.

“What?” He snapped.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” 

Gintoki dipped his finger into the bowl and held it towards Hijikata who just looked from it to the face of the person it was attached to.

“Aren’t you going to eat that?”

The silver-haired man smirked. “I made it for you. You eat it.”

Hijikata flushed, unsure whether it was from embarrassment or anger. “I don’t know where your fingers have been.” 

What? That’s not what he meant to say. He meant to say no. What was wrong with him?

“In this bowl. You gonna eat it or not?”

Hijikata swallowed. _Fuck it._ He leaned forward and gave the finger an experimental lick, turning an even darker shade of red. He heard Gintoki stifle a giggle and glared. He’d show him. He surged forward and briefly took the entire finger into his mouth, licking all of the mix off and pulling back, wiping the back of his hand against his lips.

Gintoki was still staring at his finger and Hijikata smirked (even though he was still mostly pink, he couldn’t believe he’d just done that _oh my god don't panic now's not the time_ ).

“Still tastes good, Yorozuya.”

Gintoki looked over, eyes slightly unfocused. Suddenly, he seemed to snap back to reality and a broad smirk spread over his face, causing Hijikata’s own to falter.

“Enjoy that Vice-Commander?” He leaned forward until his lips brushed Hijikata’s ear when he spoke. “Looking forward to the real thing? Or maybe just practising?”

Hijikata shoved his now laughing boyfriend away and stood up, ear burning from where Gintoki’s lips had touched.

“F-fuck off.” _Damn it._

He stalked off in the direction the barracks, swiping at Sougo when he asked why he was so red. Gintoki rocked backwards, still giggling to himself, and ate some more of the mix.

“It is good, that’s true.”

He watched his boyfriend leave and smiled again. Today hadn’t gone to plan. At all. His flat had burnt down for god’s sake. But it hadn’t been all bad. 

This relationship had started off as an impromptu meeting of two men who never should have liked each other in the first place, never mind fallen in love. But hate grew to respect and turned to understanding and now here they were. Happy together. 

They weren’t perfectly comfortable yet (Hijikata wasn’t at least), but Gintoki had hope that all of this was going to turn out alright in the end. Yeah. Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had no idea what to do for this chapter, and then remembered that I said Gintoki could cook but never got the chance to show it and then thought about get well gifts and this just kind of happened. Partly inspired by the kitchen fire scene from Beta Tau Sigma (so thanks to that author :) )  
> I'm thinking I'm gonna add a smut chapter after this (I've been building towards one, it'd be a shame to not do one). If you don't want one, tell me though. Then the fic'll be over :(  
> Thanks for sticking with this, commenters and people that gave me kudos (especially cos I'm a slow uploader). Every time I get one of either it just makes my day so thanks for taking a couple of minutes (or seconds) out of your day to write a sentence or two. Means a lot :)
> 
> Also the Shirogane-hen is killing me, somebody please save me. They're all gonna die and I can't handle it :(((((((((( Gintoki's gonna die and I'll cry :(((((((((((


	5. Operation Get Him In My Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki decides to make the most of his hotel room. Hijikata goes along with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe.  
> This is the smut chapter (so if you don't want to read it then DON'T) and it's not great (basically first time writing smut) but hey I tried.  
> Boring stuff: if there's any grammar/continuity mistakes then tell me and I'll fix it.  
> Let's go :)

Sakata Gintoki was _bored_. He was spectacularly bored. He was so spectacularly bored, in fact, that he was thinking naughty things. Very naughty things. All involving a certain raven-haired Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi.

Wait. Before we get into that, let’s backtrack for a second.

The reason the leader of the Yorozuya was so bored was threefold. First, his flat, and with it all of the things he did to entertain himself, had burnt down. Even if the animation team had assured him that his flat would be back to normal within the week (like guys come on, how long does it take to redraw a flat?), he still had nothing to do. 

Second, there was no work. Gintoki never thought that he of all people would complain about a lack of work, but here he was. It was difficult to get work when you had no base of operations so the Yorozuya had agreed to temporarily close until their house and workplace was useable.

Third and perhaps worst of all, he was alone. Completely by himself. He didn’t even have his kids with him (not that he would admit that he missed them). They were staying with Otae but she had outright refused to let him stay, saying that it was his fault they were in this situation in the first place (it wasn’t?) so he deserved to slum it on the streets for a bit. Obviously he wasn’t doing that (he had standards, amazingly), so he’d had to fork out to stay in a crappy hotel for a week. 

The main problem with this was that he was poor, especially now that he had no work, so Pako-chan had been forced to make her comeback. Gintoki grimaced just thinking about it. He swore that he’d spent more hours being Pako-chan in the past couple of days than he had being himself. That had to be some kind of crime. But he’d managed to earn extra last night so had covered the hotel costs for another two days, leaving him with two free days.

This brings us back to why he was thinking naughty things in his temporary home . He had literally nothing else to do, so why not? Gintoki would be lying if he hadn’t considered bringing Hijikata round as soon as he realised he’d have a free room to himself for a week. He’d bet that both of them had considered sex (Gintoki definitely had and even if Hijikata denied it, he probably had as well) so this was the perfect opportunity. There was no fear of Kagura or any of the Shinsengumi catching them here, so why hadn’t it happened yet? Simple.

Gintoki had _no idea_ how to ask. ‘Hey, we’re both free and so’s this hotel room, wanna fuck?’ didn’t quite sound right. It was too much and Hijikata would probably flee the second he heard it. Either that or murder Gintoki on the spot. This required a more subtle approach.

He’d thought long and hard all day about the best course of action to take for Operation Get Him In My Bed and was finally getting somewhere. It just needed some good timing. Gintoki checked the time. It was 6:30pm. Hijikata was due back at the barracks from his evening patrol in about an hour and it would take Gintoki half an hour to get there at most. He thought for a moment longer then smiled to himself.

Yeah, this would work.

 

**7:43**

 

Hijikata wasn’t as late getting back to the barracks as he expected. They’d run into some trouble on the way back (some petty thieves who could run surprisingly quickly) but had made good time after that. Hijikata was just relieved that he could settle down. Dealing with Sougo for more than 45 minutes at a time was extremely exhausting at the best of times, never mind in the evening when everyone was starting to get tired.

Walking into his room, jacket slung over one shoulder, he made to kneel at his desk when something caught his eye and he froze. There was a small white envelope neatly placed in the middle of his desk, his name scrawled on the front. He’d recognise that handwriting anywhere. Hijikata tossed his jacket to one side, already reaching for the letter. The last proper contact he’d had with Gintoki had been a couple of days ago, just a quick kiss caught as they passed one another in the street. Hijikata would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited.

He ripped open the envelope and scanned the letter inside, one eyebrow slowly rising as he did. It was short, an address and hotel room carefully written out and beneath that, in much scruffier handwriting, was a quick instruction to turn up sometime before 8:30 or Gintoki would come collect his boyfriend himself by force for all of the Shinsengumi to see. Hijikata scoffed. It was hardly a romantic summons (though what did he expect, roses?). Didn’t mean he’d not go though. 

Putting his jacket on again and leaving a quick note saying he’d gone out (just in case ~~Kondo~~ someone came to check up on him), Hijikata strode out of the barracks and turned in the direction of the hotel. 

 

He’d been walking for a couple of minutes when the implications of being invited to a _hotel room_ to meet his boyfriend finally sunk in. Hijikata stopped dead in the middle of the street. _Oh._

He knew that Gintoki was currently living in the hotel room, so in theory it was just like being invited to the Yorozuya flat, right? But he knew it wasn’t. They’d be alone, in a room which basically consisted of a bed and nothing else. The thought didn’t terrify Hijikata, but it did worry him. He knew that Gintoki had considered sex (he made at least one sex joke every time they saw each other and that whole business with sucking his finger had really been the icing on the cake, in more ways than one) and even he’d thought about it once or twice. If he was honest with himself, the idea excited him just a little bit. 

Gintoki was a good looking man when he thought about it (which he did more often than he’d like to admit) and their relationship was based on attraction just as much as it was based on mutual respect and understanding. Whenever Hijikata thought about going further than just a kiss here and there, he found himself heating up and having to squash the thought before it got out of control.

But now? Now there was chance to not just let that thought carry on, but let it be reality. Hijikata flushed as he realised he wanted that. Wanted _Gintoki._ Tonight could be an innocent call (knowing Gintoki it wasn’t, but still) and it might be that nothing happened. But if it did…

Hijikata shook his head, trying to clear it, and carried on walking. Gintoki’d kill him if he was late.

 

**8:19**

Gintoki was getting antsy. He knew that there were plenty of logical reasons for why Hijikata hadn’t shown up yet (he wasn’t even late for god’s sake) but he was still struggling to wait patiently. Every sound of footsteps near his room made him sit up straight on the bed, every part of him listening to see if the person stopped. They never did. Gintoki was nervous anyway and this waiting wasn’t helping. 

It wasn’t like he wasn’t physically prepared. A quick trip to the local shop meant he was _very_ prepared. Gintoki just wasn’t emotionally prepared for whatever would happen (or not happen) tonight. It going well had crossed his mind once or twice, but so had it going badly and being rejected in all the possible ways. 

Before he could fall into a negative thought cycle that would probably result in him marching down the street to find his boyfriend, a set of heavy footsteps clomped down the hallway and stopped outside Gintoki’s door. _Shit._ The military-style knock confirmed the identity of the person. 

Gintoki practically flew from the bed and only paused by the door long enough to make it look like he wasn’t panicking. He pulled open the door and smiled at the sight of Hijikata, still in his uniform, looking to one side, clearly nervous but trying to hide it. The raven-haired man looked up at the sound of the door opening and nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Yorozuya.” 

“Technically I’m not that while the shop is closed.” 

“Ah, I see. Jobless idiot it is then.” 

Gintoki scowled, but they both knew he didn’t mean it. “Do you want to come in or not?” 

“Please. The woman a couple of doors down is giving me a weird look.” Hijikata saw the cogs turning in Gintoki’s brain and narrowed his eyes. “Whatever you’re planning, stop.” 

Gintoki made an expression that was just shy of a pout, making Hijikata swallow uncomfortably. _Cute._

“Aww.” He stepped aside. “Come in then.” 

Hijikata slid his shoes off, placing them neatly next to Gintoki’s haphazardly arranged boots. Following Gintoki through the short corridor, he paused as he surveyed the hotel room. 

Even though the man had only been there for a couple of days, Gintoki had certainly made it home. Three of his characteristic yukatas were screwed up in various parts of the room, with an extra one laid out over a chair shoved in the corner of the room. The TV remote was sat on the bedside table as if it had just been used, but the TV itself was dark and silent. What was perhaps most impressive though was the pile of manga in the corner. 

Hijikata suppressed a smile. “You planning on leaving?” 

Gintoki looked around in confusion before he seemed to understand and glared. “Shut it. I have nowhere to live, I’m compromising.” 

“Of course.” Hiding that smile was proving to be difficult. 

Gintoki just huffed and fell back on the bed, spreading his arms and legs out into a kind of starfish position When Hijikata didn’t move, he patted the space beside him, still staring at the ceiling. 

Shaking his head in an attempt to cast off his nervousness, Hijikata shrugged off his jacket and placed it carefully on the chair, before padding over to the bed and sitting stiffly on it. He sat upright, but looked over his shoulder at the man behind him. 

Gintoki flicked his eyes over to Hijikata, before staring at the ceiling again, a snort escaping him. 

“What?” Hijikata resisted the urge to fold his arms defensively. 

“You need to relax.” 

“Hmph.” Hijikata looked away again, intent on ignoring Gintoki for as long as possible. Thanks to this, he happened to miss the crucial moment where his boyfriend rolled over, hands outstretched and a mischievous glint in his eye. He only became aware of what was going to happen when it was too late. 

Gintoki’s hands jabbed into his sides, the shock making Hijikata jump and letting Gintoki tug him backwards and tickle him even more. 

“Ah- No-“ 

He stopped protesting as he burst into a barking laugh, his hands waving above him in a strange attempt to get Gintoki off of him. The silver-haired man smiled broadly and started tickling him even harder. He only stopped when his boyfriend started struggling to breathe. 

Gintoki moved upright and sat cross-legged on the bed, trying desperately to not laugh as Hijikata rolled over and glared up at him. 

“You-“ He was still breathing heavily and gulped as he tried to get enough air back into his lungs. “Why?” 

Gintoki absently bounced up and down slightly. “It was fun, wasn’t it?” 

Hijikata scoffed. “For you, maybe.” 

The silver-haired man looked at him, a challenge in his eyes. “Come on then.” He leaned forward and deepened his voice. “Have your fun.” 

_Oh. Ohhh._

Hijikata hesitated for a second and then thought _fuck it_ , might as well let loose. Gintoki was right, he needed to relax. 

He raised an eyebrow and launched himself forward without warning. Gintoki yelped, not fully expecting it, and dived out of the way, landing behind Hijikata. The Vice-Commander attempted to jump on him again, but Gintoki was ready this time and rolled neatly out of the way, letting his boyfriend land on the pillows with a thump. As Hijikata rolled over so that he was facing upwards, Gintoki leapt on top of him and pinned his hands beside his head.

For a moment both men just looked at each other, panting slightly. 

“Is this okay?” Gintoki’s voice was soft, not wanting to break the moment or scare Hijikata. 

“Uh huh.” 

Gintoki frowned. “Is that all you’re going to say?” 

“What d'ya want, an essay? Shuddap and kiss me you idiot.” 

Grinning down at the blushing Hijikata, Gintoki leaned in at pressed their lips together. Hijikata’s lips were slightly dry and tasted faintly of cigarettes, while Gintoki’s tasted of something overly sweet that might have been strawberries, but neither would change it for the world. 

For a while, they just kissed slowly, lips moving together but nothing more than that. Then Gintoki shifted slightly to get more comfortable and Hijikata took the opportunity to get some air, his mouth opening with the movement. Gintoki brushed his tongue against the raven-haired man’s lips in a question and Hijikata gladly let the man in. 

Gintoki hummed in approval and deepened the kiss even more, their tongues dancing together. At some point, Gintoki released Hijikata’s hands and tangled them in his hair, Hijikata gripping his boyfriend’s hips to ground himself. 

When Hijikata first bucked his hips up with a quiet gasp, even if only slightly, Gintoki broke the kiss and grinned down at him. The raven-haired man looked to the side, a faint embarrassed blush on his cheeks. 

“Don’t look at me like that, perm-head,” he mumbled. 

“Why?” Gintoki leaned down and started pressing kisses against Hijikata’s now-exposed jawline, internally smirking when the other man tilted his head even further to give him better access. 

“S’embarrassing.” 

“Is it now?” By now Gintoki had worked his way from Hijikata’s jaw to his neck and was hovering above his collar bones. “We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” 

Gintoki briefly licked a spot on the other man’s collar bone and then latched onto it, alternating between sucking on it and swirling his tongue over it. Hijikata rolled his hips slightly, letting out a low moan before catching himself and attempting to cover his mouth. The silver-haired man seized his hands and guided them back to his hips. 

“Ah, no.” He finished with the hickey and started another one just beneath Hijikata’s collar bones, releasing his hands to begin unbuttoning the other man’s shirt. “I need to hear you. I need to know if you like it.” 

Hijikata’s hands tightened on Gintoki’s hips and he pressed his head back into the pillows. “Fuck-” 

His breath hitched as Gintoki unbuttoned the last button and slid his hands over the now exposed skin. His hands ghosted over Hijikata’s skin, following the divots in between his ribs, as his tongue soothed the fresh red spots blooming on his collar bones. 

Gintoki sat up again, his hands still exploring. He looked down at smirked at Hijikata’s expression. Dark eyes looked out from half-lidded eyes and his breath came out in light pants. 

“You want me to stop, you tell me, yeah?” 

“What- _ohhhh._ ” 

His question was overridden by a low moan as Gintoki attached his mouth to one nipple, brushed his fingers over the other and rolled his hips so that his ass pressed against Hijikata’s crotch. The hands on Gintoki’s hips tightened and Hijikata’s back arched. 

Gintoki swirled his tongue and felt something in him twitch as the raven-haired man let out another moan, louder this time. He finally raised himself off Hijikata and gestured for him to shuffle backwards so that he was sat up instead. Nudging his legs just far apart that he could settle between them, he carried on playing with Hijikata’s chest, giving each nipple equal attention. 

When Hijikata bucked his hips up even more, Gintoki took the hint and palmed him through his trousers. The noise that came out of his mouth at that was _sinful_ and Gintoki felt his own cock twitch. He rubbed the growing bulge again. A growl ripped out of Hijikata’s throat and Gintoki looked up in surprise. 

“Fuckin’ do somethin’ perm-head.” 

Gintoki blinked, then huffed a laugh. 

“If you insist.” 

He unbuckled the belt and slid it out of the trousers, throwing it off the side of the bed. Then he grabbed the zip and pulled it down (too slowly for Hijikata’s liking but he wasn’t about to admit that). Wiggling the trousers off, Gintoki threw them after the belt. 

Hijikata suddenly felt very self-conscious and vulnerable. It was like it had only just registered with him how intimate this was. His boyfriend must have sensed his tension because he paused. 

“You good?” 

Hijikata hummed. 

Gintoki mustn’t have fully believed him because he started kissing the inside of Hjikata’s thigh instead, slowly working his way up from his knee. Finding one particularly sensitive patch of skin, he swirled his tongue over it and sucked it between his teeth until Hijikata was panting again, his legs spread wider than before. 

Only then did Gintoki do what he’d been planning to do all night. 

He settled himself firmly between Hijikata’s legs and pressed his nose into the bulge in Hijikata’s boxers. Hijikata hissed and grabbed at the sheets beneath him. Gintoki grinned and licked a stripe over the fabric, causing Hijikata’s hips to jerk upwards. 

“F-fuck,” He breathed out. 

Gintoki took this as a good sign and pulled the boxers down completely, exposing Hijikata’s cock. Hijikata flushed and looked away but couldn’t help looking back when he felt warm breath ghost against the tip. He locked eyes with the silver-haired samurai just as he wrapped his lips around the tip and swirled his tongue round. 

Hijikata threw his head back into the pillows and let out a load moan, not even bothering to hide it this time. He arched his back when Gintoki took him in completely, the heat of his mouth feeling so good on his cock. 

Then his _tongue._

It moved at all the right moments, pressing against the prominent vein and then swirling around wherever Gintoki could make it go. Hijikata found himself letting out tiny gasps every time Gintoki’s tongue moved and those tiny gasps turned into a full on moan when the silver-haired man hummed, his entire throat filling with the vibrations. >

At some point, Hijikata’s hands found their way to Gintoki’s hair and tangled in it. Heat started to gather at the base of his spine and he barely had time to tug on his boyfriend’s hair in warning before his orgasm hit and pleasure coursed through him. 

When Hijikata came back to himself, his legs were trembling and Gintoki was sat up, one hand down his own pants and the other in his mouth as he sucked the remaining come off of his fingers. He pulled the fingers out of his mouth with a pop and grinned widely. 

“Didn’t know you could be so vocal, Vice-Commander.” 

“Shuddap. You came in your pants like a teenager.” 

Gintoki made a hurt expression. "Not my fault you looked good." 

"I say again, shuddap perm-head. 

Hijikata’s legs were still shaking, so Gintoki cleaned up, wiping his own hands first and then Hijikata’s torso. The raven-haired man managed to pull his boxers back up before collapsing back down. A few moments later, Gintoki landed next to him, sans his shirt and trousers. 

“You staying the night?” Gintoki sounded hesitant, as though he expected the answer to be no. 

Hijikata rolled over so that he was looking at his boyfriend. “Do you want me to go?” 

There was a pause. 

“No.” 

“Then I’m staying.” 

Gintoki smiled brightly. “Good! Now get under the covers, I’m sleepy.” 

Hijikata grumbled but shifted so that they could both lie under the covers while Gintoki flicked the lights off, leaving only subtle glow of the city lights. 

After some wriggling (and definitely some elbows to the ribs), they were both settled. Gintoki had refused to sleep without some form of physical contact with his boyfriend, so they were spooning, with Gintoki as the big spoon, his arms looped around Hijikata’s waist. He pressed a chaste kiss to the back of Hijikata’s neck and nuzzled into his neck, chuckling when Hijikata weakly tried to shake him off. 

“Does the gorilla know you’re here?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Just don’t want to be interrupted that’s all. I like my sleep.” 

Hijikata huffed. “He should know to leave us alone by now. If you like sleep so much then why aren’t you sleeping now?” 

Gintoki hummed, thinking. “Dunno.” He closed his eyes, the warmth lulling him to sleep. “Maybe I like you more.” 

There was a pause as the words sunk in. A blush slowly worked its way up Hijikata’s neck, completely unseen to Gintoki. 

“Oi, perm-head. Warn me before you say shit like that.” 

There was no reply except regular breathing. 

“Of course you’ve fallen asleep. Fucking fantastic.” As much as Hijikata tried to spit the words out, the usual harshness was gone. He was too tired and content to do more. Sleep was sneaking up on him and he didn’t want to shake it off. 

Curling into the warmth behind him, Hijikata let himself fall into the first truly relaxed sleep he’d had in a long, long time. 

(Kondo did go looking for him that night, scaling the wall with the practised skill of a dedicated stalker until he found the relevant room. He cooed over how adorable Hijikata and Gintoki were and then left them in peace. He'd rather no one else know, so shhhhh) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that just.... interesting?  
> (It was so bad I know I'm sorryyyyy)  
> I chose for them to not have actual full on sex because it's a lot for a first time, especially when it's a new relationship and the bottom isn't used to it. If I was going to write more for this (which I might but probs not) then they'd move up to that.  
> Fun fact: I had to look up what kind of shoes the Shinsengumi wore cos I wasn't sure if they wore boots or not (obviously they don't but what if I was wrong?).  
> Thanks for reading this and sticking with it even when I'm a really slow uploader :) All the comments made my day each time I read one and so many more people read this and gave it kudos than I expected so thank you so much :)
> 
>  
> 
> (Maybe Kidnapped By Amanto can finally get a next chapter????)


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